i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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