please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hippo gnu deer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
