Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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