Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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