corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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