the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize