Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
