I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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