He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
