i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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