I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
