marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize