i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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