a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize