I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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