So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize