i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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