4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
