Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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