K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
