Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
