Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
