How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
