Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize