There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She bit a glass in half.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
