There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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