We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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