i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
