you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So squirting runs in the family.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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