Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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