THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
