Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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