OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
