Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
