Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
