doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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