just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize