she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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