everyone is single if you try hard enough
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
