he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
