this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
