hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
