Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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