He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
