Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
