is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
