I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
