he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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