What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
