TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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