So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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