On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
