No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
