to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
