the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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