You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
