Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
