My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
