so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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