i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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