Welp...herpes.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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